WE DRIVE THE 503-HP BMW X3 M AND X4 M: ARE THEY REAL-DEAL M CARS?

"Don't know why I have to drive so fast, my car has nothing to prove," country superstars Alabama harmonized in their 13th number one single "I'm in a Hurry (And Don't Know Why)," an upbeat commentary on the pace of modern life. Even still, lead singer Randy Owen brags about how quick that car is two lines later. That's the nearly-as-Southern, South Carolina-built BMW X3 M and X4 M in a nutshell: fast because they want to be, not because they have anything to prove.

At this point, BMW doesn't need to convince anyone it can build fast SUVs. The X6 M was the production SUV lap record-holder at Willow Springs International Raceway's notorious Big track until very recently. The X5 M is no slouch, either, and the X3 M40i is as quick as any average commuter really needs. The only expectation you can really put on the new X3 M and X4 M is to not screw it up, and BMW didn't.

Just to be sure, though, BMW had us out to Monticello Motor Club—a private track in southern New York state—to see for ourselves. Monticello's a tricky track. It seems deliberately designed both to look like an old-school track and to have a number of artificially difficult corners. Many of them are blind just because, and the runoffs are all grass so you won't slow down before you're introduced to the wall. It's a fast one, too, with two long and two short straights each ending at a very sharp corner. Not really the kind of place you want to come in too hot with 4,600 pounds of SUV and 8 inches of ground clearance. BMW's either confident or crazy.

You haven't seen any news reports about a fleet of BMW SUVs wrecked at a New York track because BMW's confidence is well placed. If you're the kind of person who puts an SUV on a racetrack, you can do far, far worse than an X3 M or X4 M. When you look at the build sheet, though, it's no surprise. Forget dirt, these things have the same all-wheel drive system as the M5, complete with active rear differential. Add underrated twin-turbo I-6, adaptive dampers, variable ratio steering, four-piston 15.6-inch steel front brakes, and a carbon-fiber strut tower brace, and you've got yourself a real-deal M Car.

Alabama might've been proud of that old car back in '92 for hitting 60 mph in 5.2 seconds, but V-6 Camrys do that today. For its part, BMW says the X3 M Competition and X4 M Competition, which get an extra 30 hp over the standard M models, will do it in 4 seconds flat (standard cars need an extra tenth). Turbocharged BMWs are notoriously underrated from the factory, though, and the 473 to 503 hp and 442 lb-ft of torque these things claim to make is more likely what's hitting the ground, with a lot more going on upstream at the crank. Expect high threes when we get one on our own test track, because it sure feels that way behind the wheel. For comparison, a 2016 M3 Competition needs 4.3 seconds.